I keep having these feelings of extreme inadequacy and disappointment.
I see my friends posting upbeat facebook statuses, relaying announcements of either getting into grad school or securing full time jobs.
I have to remind myself that it’s okay, and that it’s going be okay. It will all turn out for the best.
The thing is, I don’t know what I want. This is the first time in my life where I’ve felt so uncertain about my identity. I’ve always known what my future would hold. It’s an awkward and painful transition period that’s hard to embrace.
The main goal is to get a full time job. It may not be glamorous, but for the first time I will become self-sufficient and independent. And that’s enough in itself. The rest will follow.
Eventually, I want to move to another city and get into a good grad school program. But first, I want to get a feel for the world.
Life is so tumultuous. It’s hard not to curl up in a ball and despair.